Welcome to my little corner of the world, this is where I rant, rave, kvetch or wax on nostalgic about anything and anyone that crosses my path at that moment in time.
Sit down for a bit and read some. If you enjoy what you read, please pass the love on to others so that they may partake in the yummy goodness that lies here.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Once more into the breach with another update of eye popping freshness for you to gasm over.

Yes, I said gasm.


I am a slight fan of the tv show Ghost Hunters on the ScyFy channel. Now if you are unfamiliar with the show, it is a group of people that go around the country and at times other countries to hunt ghosts. Now that doesn’t mean they go all Ghostbusters trying to catch the ghosts, cause we all know how that went with New York getting marshmallow fluffed. What they do is use equipment to prove or disprove that a place or area may or may not be haunted by using infrared cameras, thermal cameras, audio recording and EMF devices in their investigations. They are respectful of the area and of the spirits that might be there, because no one wants to piss off a poltergeist.

Now for the other guys…

There is a new show on the Discovery channel that is basically on the same vein of Ghost Hunters, it is called Ghost Lab and they do the same thing as the Ghost Hunters but with obviously a bit more money at their disposable. The GL goobs; as you can tell I am not a big fan with them, use the same techniques and equipment that GH uses, but GL tactics are a bit on the disrespectful side. GL taunts the ghosts, yell at them to try to invoke the spirits to making an appearance.

Not cool.

GH talk to the spirits, politely asking them to make their presence known to them. Whereas, the GL does not as stated earlier.

The GHs seem like the average Joe that has a regular daytime job and does this at night on their spare time.

The GLs seem more like actors that were cast for the show and given the equipment and some episodes of Ghost Hunters to watch to learn from. Personally, I think they need to go back to the gym and tanning booth while they wait for their agent to call with an opening for Jersey Shore.

Till the fates bring us together once more, I bid you adieu.

Thursday, December 24, 2009


No real snazzy opener this week, not in the mood so let’s just cut to the chase.

Here it is the day before Christmas or for the layman, Christmas Eve and I am not filled with the Christmas spirit this year at all. I have been slightly depressed since this will be the first Christmas that both of my grandparents on my mother’s side will not be here with us to celebrate with the extended, fractured, fighting, unique and most pain in the ass family that I think there is.

The sad fact is I really would rather be somewhere else instead of home. Just don’t want to deal with the sadness nor would I like to deal with the potential fighting that is likely to occur between my aunts and uncles. Tomorrow will most likely be a real slobber knocker of a day with about eight kids; all of them spoiled brats mind you and my two aunts, three uncles, my mom and myself.


I should be grateful that I have family to spend this Christmas with instead of complaining about what may come of tomorrow. Some people don’t have someone they can spend time with this Christmas and may need someone there for them, we all know someone that just needs that phone call, that email or that simple little thing to let them know that you are thinking of them this holiday season.

Connect back with that someone that you are missing and say ‘hello’ once more you just might make their day.

Till global warming reveals Santa’s workshop at the North pole.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Another week, with more drivel for you to become nauseated by after reading.

Kind of been struggling this week to come up with something to post this week, had a couple of ideas earlier but failed to write them down, even tried to go the lazy route by looking through somethings that I've jotted down before but either those were already posted or didn't fit the bill for what I am feeling this week. No worries though, I have some life drama to throw out to you to roll your eyes at, sigh a heavy breath of disappointment, because you just don't care and trust me, neither really do I.

So here we go.

Recently I have had the honor of being deleted as a friend on MySpace and Facebook. Now usually this would not really garner a second look or thought from me; especially if it was from someone on MySpace since I do have some people on there that I have never met, nor probably never will. This was someone that I thought was a friend, someone that we hung out together for quite a bit of time, someone that I considered a friend, even still do. Obviously this deletion was a shock and a bit of a heartbreak considering neither of us have had contact in about a month and if we did exchange words or talk, it wasn't of a negative nature. Now this came without notice or fair warning and after the deed was done, no word as to why or a reason given.

Now on to the crux of this diatribe.

Seems some people have disposable friends. Friends that are true to them, but once they become tired of you, you are tossed to the side like a toy by a spoiled brat that has lost interest. This doesn't have to be from the result of a difference of views, an argument or one having killed the others father, but mostly from the simple fact they got what they wanted and have no further use of you.

I disagree with this line of thinking.

If I am your friend, then I am YOUR FRIEND. Meaning that I am not going to toss you to the side after my use for you is done; since really I have no agenda for befriending you to begin with. I will stay with you through what ever trials and tribulations that you may end up going through during our friendship. This what being a friend is all about, being there for each other and helping the other in their time of need; not to just use someone under the moniker of 'friend' for your personal needs.

I have many friends, some that I am close to and some that are more acquaintances; which just means that we don't keep in touch all that often or hang out as often as some of my other friends. Any of these friends can call me up for some sort of help and I will do what I can to help them out.

That is what friends are.

Til our next endeavor into this wacky mind.

Monday, December 7, 2009


Do what you say you are going to do.

That is the topic for today or week on this little brain fart of a blog.

What it means is just what it says, do what you say you are going to do. This doesn't cover promises that never are kept or one off mumblings that are never heard of once they go to the breeze, but entails those little declarations of trying to change or do something for the better than the standard norm. Meaning if I say on many occasion I want to get my Jeep fixed and back on the road; which is truth, then instead of constantly mentioning it to people that probably only care to the point of hearing it once, I should in fact make steps to that fact.

If you constantly harp on that you are getting fat and you tell everyone that you know even people that you don't; the fact that you have a problem with it should be more than enough for you to enact the change necessary to lose the weight. Failure to do so just makes you look like the little boy that cried fat. Even if others do not see a problem with your weight gain but you do, make the changes. Join a gym, walk more, diet or whatever it takes, as long as it is healthy for you.

I always hear people wanting to make changes or say that they are going to do something or want to do something; be like Nike and just do it. Stop talking about it, no one really cares and all we do is give you a sympathetic ear towards your plight, but truthfully, after awhile we don't care and stop listening to what you have to say because you do not have the will yourself to do what you need.

All you end up sounding like is the little boy that cried wolf; nobody listens to your cries anymore.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Another year is almost to the end and this lazy, brain-fart of a blog is almost a year old. With only 20 posts under its waif waist; albeit it should be more like 52 or more, but I'm fat and lazy...so sue me, I've decided to make a resolution.

I'm not going to call it a New Year's resolution as it is not quite the New Year and most resolutions that are started about that time are sure to fail, I want this one to strive on.

I resolve to start updating this drivel at least once a week.

That's right, once a week. You can come here to read the spewage that comes from my ever naughty and malevolent mind once a week.

I know, already you have a bad taste in your mouth and are quickly looking for the bookmark so as you can delete this to never look again.

But you won't, you love me too much.

That is really the skinny for this entire post, to just announce my bad intentions on updating more regularly than I have been. Not sure what I will really be posting in such time since most of my posts are either filled with some bullshit drama in my life; so totally interesting I know, or some sort of truth that I have recently stumbled upon or just a string of incoherence mingled with bad grammar, spelling and run on sentences that would drive my high school English honors teacher, Mrs. Harrell, into fits.

Maybe I should befriend her on Facebook and point her in this direction or perhaps not.

Though, I will implore you my fan(s) to help me on this task and to give me feedback or ideas in the times that I am running late or am needing to sober up enough to remember how to use a computer. Okay?

Till sometime next week I guess.

Monday, November 2, 2009


Recently I have been realizing with all the people that I know and have known that many of them can be lumped into certain groups. These groups do not just apply to the people that I know, but can be used for anybody and that most people will actually fit into a couple of the same groups without any problems.

So here they are.

  • True Friends: These are the people that will drop what they are doing to help you in your time of need and if by some chance they cannot, they will find someone that can or point you in the direction of someone that can. These are most likely people you have known for ages, people that you would have no trouble calling them a 'best friend'.
  • Party Friends: These are your going out buds, the ones you go have some adventures with, run from the law with and generally have a good frickin' time with. These same people can be the same 'true friends' and if they aren't yet, these adventures may just make them so.
  • Co-worker Friends: These are the people you work with. Either it be past or present, these people are sometime outside of work friends, usually for drinks or nights out. If not, when seen outside of work you may stop for a quick word or hello or just a friendly nod or wave of acknowledgment works.
  • Network Friends: These are usually people from online or from business networks. Online friends are those from social networking sites such as MySpace or Facebook or any online forum that you may be on. These people you may have never met in real life outside of those sites. Business network friends are people that you usually meet from your line of work but are not co-workers, they may be vendors, suppliers or people from another business that interacts with yours.
Now for the class of people that pretend to be true or party but are not either. These people are wolves in sheep's clothing and should be best kept away for you to be happy in ones life.

  • Convenience Friends: These are not friends at all. These people act like they are a truer friend than they really are, usually to keep you around until they need something from you or until something better comes along. These people use you for whatever means they need at the time. You go out with them, you end up driving them around to every bar they wish to go to or you end up paying for them. They need your help in dire emergencies related to them, but you will almost never hear a word from them when you may need some help from them. These people just take, never to give back to their 'friends'. These people have a lot of drama in their lives and love to be talked about or to be the center of attention either within a group or just one on one settings. They tend to have issues, deep seeded ones that you may clearly know about or just haven't really made the connection at the moment. These issues most likely cannot be fixed by you; unless you are a psychiatrist or therapist.
Of course the 'convenience friend' can apply to all of the other groupings on here, but time will truly tell what they are to you.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Technology is great.

Normally I abhor it, but today I will make an exception upon it.

Technology can help you meet someone hundreds of thousands miles away, fall in love with them and you wish to marry them.

Couldn't do that in the old days. In those days, you had to actually meet someone through friends, church, social gatherings or whatever it was that people did to meet each other and make a connection. Whatever connection would be made would probably be kept for awhile since there weren't many to choose from and you most likely met them in the type of venue you prefer to frequent so they would be most likely your "type".

Now we have all of that, plus all of the social networking sites and dating sites that exist these days to help in our search for the "one". Where else can you potentially meet thousands of people through just a few clicks of the mouse?

Well besides some super club that you can party with thousands at? But then you may not like that atmosphere or find the person that meets you standards or lifestyle.

In the old days many people found what they wanted, some just settled for what they had and some were forced for that what they had done.

These days all that still applies, but because of technology, we don't have to settle for what is "just there". There is so many sites out there that one can join to help find the "one". We no longer have to settle for what is in our backyard, we can look for love hundreds of miles away, even thousands if we so desire to hopefully meet that one that we have been always looking for.

And when we do find them, it is so much easier for us to keep in touch through the miles that keep us apart by the satellites and miles of internet that keep the world a small, small one.

Monday, August 24, 2009

My Awakening

"Success is on its way to you."

This is from a fortune cookie, who's fortune I decided to place in my wallet to be rediscovered whilst cleaning out said wallet today. Its discovery got me thinking, what success is on its way? Then I realized that whatever it is, I should not become apathetic to its arrival. That I should not sit on my haunches waiting for it to make its grand appearance, I shall take my fortune into my own hands.

This past weekend has only solidified the fact I need to take charge more of my life instead of asking why, when, how or where all the time as to when I will get mine or permission as to what I can do or should.

My name is Matt. (Not really, but go with it.)

I give and give and give and give. I give wholeheartedly to friends, family and to life constantly, only to be given only a fraction of what I gave in return.

I have had an epiphany and a reset on that weekend that has been coming for awhile.

No more.

I am about to become the person I need to be, the person I once was, the person that didn't give a fuck about most anything. A person that didn't have a heart, that did things without thinking, without caring who's feelings were hurt, one that lived for the moment.

No more.


This is an awakening, a new beginning, a rebirth of myself, a new discovery. I am tired of caring of giving with my all, to not receive anything back.

I am done with it. It is time to take care of my own.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Online Dating

Ok, I will admit that I am on a couple of 'dating sites'.

Yeah, I hear you laughter, fuck off.

Anyways, I am like many a man that walks the Earth, I am attracted to beauty, not necessarily super model types, but the girl next door type. I will click on a profile of a woman that is beautiful for that is what catches my attention first.

The one thing that bothers me after I click on a profile, is if the profile is lame. I mean lame by lack of information or something that looks like it was copy and pasted from some profile template of lameness. The ones that really are special to me, are the ones that have children at a young age and the profile reads like they only have an 8th grade education with the spelling; grammar doesn't bother as much, most people type the way they speak, which I can deal with, bad spelling is difficult.

Is it hard to proof read what you're saying or to use a dictionary, dictionary.com or spell check?

Using all caps is basically yelling on the online world, but several people use it all the time, to me it looks like you have no initiative to check the status of the caps lock on your computer.

All of the above is a bit of turn-off for me. The bad spelling and caps lock usage makes it looks like you have a seemingly low IQ or never paid attention while you were in school for your twelve years but only making it to the eighth grade.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bridge Rant

I like to think of myself as an intelligent individual, perhaps even one that is smarter than most, but that is most likely just a bit of ego talking there. The thing is, I abhor waste and wasting of valuable time, especially that which is mine.

Where am I going with this you probably thinking?

There is a fairly new twin bridge that has been built here just a few years ago part of a transportation flyover project to help improve traffic going to the beach and that coming from it. The problem is, the DOT only completed one side to alleviate the summer congestion that was always a bear when going to the beach; the other side didn’t receive funding from the state to even begin starting on it. With that one side not being completed with what was supposed to have a flyover from the bridge; going past 23rd street, over the train tracks and on to Michigan Ave. without having to stop for any traffic lights, does not. Which causes traffic jams with the lights, train crossing and the third lane coming off of the bridge merging with the middle lane. Now the train crossing doesn’t always cause a backup, but the light for 23rd St. does as it is not long enough and backed up to another turning lane and traffic light that goes into the port; currently the DOT is fixing this problem by making a new entrance to the port and moving the turning lane and light down one road. That should ease some of the congestion, but just if the DOT would complete the Panama City flyover, or just start it would be a nice start, that should end all of the troubles.

Unfortunately, the moving of the light has resulted in a fail for DOT with regards of easing congestion either way, the only thing it has done was provide much larger turning lanes for the semis going into the port and for those turning onto 23rd St.

Now knowing all of that useless background information, why is it that people tend to stay in the middle lane; knowing that when traffic is backed up to the flyover, that they will be sitting there putting along for most likely 15-30 minutes before they get to the other side of the bridge?

The way the traffic on the bridge flows in the afternoon going from the beach to town is the right lane moves the fastest, the middle the slowest and the left lane somewhere in the middle.

The only reason the right lane moves so fast is that lane has to merge into the middle at the end of the bridge and for that reason is why I believe some knuckle draggers try to prevent others from using the right lane by straddling both lanes or in some instances, get entirely into the right lane only to sit there next to the hole they created. The two things I see wrong with that is that one, there is about 15 plus feet of bridge that can be used to go around them and two, if the person in front of me did that, I would fill in the hole just to piss them off.

The left lane moves the second fastest is only because the middle gets backed up from all of us of higher intelligence that use the right lane to get over the bridge faster. Of course, we tend to have to deal with knuckle draggers that try to block us or try to refuse to let us merge.

I’ll just be glad when they finally get it all worked out like it is supposed to, but that probably will not happen anytime in the near future.

Watch the video during 5 o'clock traffic to see what I mean. 5 o'clock central time. http://tmc.baycountyfl.gov/#map

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I have started to realize a new truth in life, a truth that life will speak to you constantly until you realize what life is trying to say to you and you start to listen.

I know this is going to be very vague sounding but trust me, you will realize this truth when it starts to happen to you.

Some people will say that this isn't life speaking to you but that it is destiny; I don't believe in destiny or pre-ordination, I refuse to. I believe it can lead to apathy towards life. If you are a meth addict living in a cave with your enabling boyfriend/girlfriend, you shouldn't believe that is your lot in life, that there is no way for you to ascend to something more or better. I believe that everyone has the chance to be rich in their life.

Ok, back to my original train of thought.

If your young, you most likely haven't lived long enough to come to this realization, to see this pattern that life may present to you beckoning you to change. Those of an older generation reading this may have noticed during their lifetime a few of these truths; albeit if they listened to life or not, is not quite the question of this blog at this point. These truths come as re-occurring themes in a standard pace throughout life. There is no set time table as to when a truth may be revealed to you, but when it occurs you should be ready to listen.

A truth may be constant job opportunities of a better job, love beckoning for your attention with constant attention from the opposite sex or same, constant callings for travel when you may never. We should open our sub-consciousness to help us to better notice these trends when they start to appear. Life will not continue to attempt to show us these things or wait for us for eternity on the off chance that we may finally pull our head out of our ass to wake up to that truth that has been constantly shown to us for some time. Many times we do not realize these truths until they have stopped and we are left in the desert of the end of what was trying to be told us.

I'll give you an example.

Someone that I know through friends of friends is in a self-imposed island of loneliness because of past love experiences and is tired of being hurt by men. Now she has several men that are vying for her attention, but she wishes not to date them for the simple fact she does not wish to be hurt once again. I believe that life is letting her know that it is time for her to open up once again to the thought and idea of love and being loved by someone else. I believe that life will only afford this vision of this truth for a short amount of time and if you fail to notice this; when life stops showing this to you, you will be left in the dark, out in the cold, wandering the desert so to speak.

Listen to what life has to say to you when it starts talking. Take the time to notice the patterns that may be showed you, you just may be on a path to better things that will make you richer in life.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Recently I went to a party that a friend was throwing for the simple fact to throw a party; those are always the best kind. It was also her brothers 18th birthday, so it was sort of included as well.

There was food, music, great friends, some cake, some beer, stories of past funs told, but the whole experience was worth more than the price of admission.

Towards the end of the party as the last few stragglers are being herded towards our vehicles; in but the most of cordial and nicest of ways, I happened to notice something you don't tend to see everyday in one of the hosts face...admiration.

Not towards me by no means; well at that time anyways, everyone admires me to some degree, but towards her father.

As her father was telling his stories of hunting in Alabama, you could not help to but notice the absolute look of admiration upon my friends face towards the man. It was a look of someone entranced by not only the words in his story but the voice that was speaking them, someone that was living those moments with him at that time, even though they were not present then.

This is not a look that you see to often anymore these days. Most people look at each other with contempt, with dis-satisfaction or a loathing that prevents them from enjoying someone elses companionship or to be regaled by the stories that they may tell. I for one do not believe that I have ever looked upon someone with a look of admiration such as my friend has; especially towards my father.

She has a very special connection with her father, one that I can only be jealous of and the love they must surely share with it.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Numb / Hospitals

The stress has finally gotten to me, to the point that I wish to be numb from life. To feel no emotion what so every to be void of all pleasure and pain that living has to offer.

Especially from sorrow. That little emotion leaves a hole in your heart, a void that takes forever to fill again if to be ever filled. I no longer wish to hurt inside from the loss of loved ones, from the pain that comes with it, the hurt. To be able to walk around without feeling anything anymore, to be a stone face in life so to speak.

The only thing that keeps this from truly wanting this to be a reality is the fact that I do enjoy the moments of happiness and contentment that I get in the fleeting moments when I do get them. I owe most of those moments from my mother and my most dearest of friends that tend to keep my sanity by being around them.

This is only a commentary and a way of venting to prevent cracking, so no need to worry.


I have come to the conclusion that hospitals, not God, is the Alpha and Omega of today.

Now before you fire up the keyboard preparing to send of some incendiary email, hear me out.

Think about it for a moment. Most people are born there, many die there it is the beginning and end of many peoples lives.

The only times that we go to the hospital is if we are really sick or visiting someone that is there. Any other time we avoid it like the plague, not wanting to mention it and keeping away.

Personally I hate hospitals on the simple and very basic principal of being traumatized as a child when I was admitted with pneumonia.

Now I keep away no matter what. I know that sounds selfish and somewhat a bit self-involved to not visit loved ones, but hospitals creep me out. I cannot even be comfortable in them even for being there in some sort of joyous reason, like the birth of a child. If they make me feel that way with new life, imagine with the sunset of one.

Don't get me wrong, I will go, but don't expect me to stay very long and if you are potentially not going to make it, you may not even see me. I'll prefer to remember you they way you were, so do not judge me.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Lot

Everybody has a 'lot in life'. Meaning that everyone has a set of things that they do for most of their lives, be it toil the land, protecting the innocent, victimizing the innocent, being a mooch, a partier, a sex fiend, a religious person or whatever. We all have, it seems, a set of actions that we always tend to fall back to throughout our lives.

We may see that our lot is self-controlling or self-destructive or perhaps we grow tired of the same old, same old and strive for something new; but at some point we try to change or are forced to change our lot. The change that we succumb to or strive for, may only be short lived for we almost always seem to fall back into our old ways of being. No matter how hard we strive for change, we seem to be sucked back to the way things were.

My lot is one of peace and understanding. I am a peaceful person; although perhaps a bit crazy at times, one that can or tries to relate to everyone with understanding. It is also a lot that is filled with loving friends and family, but nothing greater than that in any sort of relationship other than friendship. No matter how I strive to break out of this mold, I get poured into an exact duplicate, like Jell-o being readied for chilling.

I am a cosmic joke for Love, the mold keeps me contained to only be a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear, never much else. I continue forth in this lot for the hope that one day the mold will break without another replacement at hand for me to be bottled into, so that someday I can taste the sweet flavor that Love has to offer.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

My Fall Into Sadism

I have become a sadist.

Not the ball gag, leather wearing, being whipped while wearing nipple clamps, safe word using type of sadist. But a sadist nonetheless.

Originally this was going to be a commentary about those that go to gyms and use the device that is called an elliptical machine; I prefer to call it a medieval torture device, but that has changed. It seems that I have become indoctrinated unto their ways of pain, for I have now begun to use the infernal contraption on a regular basis.

When I first started using the damn thing, I could only do five minutes but it seemed that on the third or fourth day I managed to do twenty minutes. I don't know what happened or what the hell got into me, but there it was, me doing more than five minutes.

I fear I may be slipping into a dangerous bit of exercising with this new found bit of sadism.

When I was first starting, I would make fun of those that would get on the torturous devices for being able to do more than myself. How could someone manage to maintain such a level of commitment to staying on it?

There is a girl that is sometimes there when I arrive that is on a device when I get there, on it the entire time that I am and still on it after I leave. This is usually about an hours worth of time, I can't comprehend how she can continue to do such an amount of time.

I have labeled her the Queen of the Sadists and I bow at her feet in worship of her torture device prowess.

Amber, I have done 25 minutes and could easily do 30, if I wanted to. Time to step up.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

iPhone Rant

I'm tired of hearing about or seeing anything about the stupid iPhone. If you believe the hype, it is the greatest bit of technology since the personal computer, the sybian or a regular cell phone. Yes, it has a half billion apps that you can buy and place on your computer...err...iPhone, but do you really need them?

Have we become so dependent on technology that we are so lazy that we can't figure out the split between a party of five in a restaurant or have forgotten how to look in a phone book to look up a number or; here's a good one, need an app to level out a book shelf? Come on, an app that is a level! Seriously? You must be fucking kidding me, but I wish it was not the truth, they have an app for that.

Why don't they come up some really useful apps that would be cool to have, like how to haggle with a stripper for half off a lap dance? How to tell if the hooker you're talking to is a cop or not. How to pick a set of handcuffs. How to hotwire a car. How to mug a mugger.

Where are those apps?

I would maybe buy an iPhone to have something cool on it like that.

Too bad you can only get the iPhone with the crappiest service provider in the known universe, if they had the network it wouldn't be so bad, but you are stuck with AT&T. AT&T and T-mobile do not even work at my job, but Nextel, Verizon and Alltel work like champs.

Go figure.

I guess the iPhone is just proof that we are nothing more than consumers that have to have the newest, brightest, most commercialized thing out there just because the tv told us so. All the apps that you can get is just more proof of this.

Who wants an app that tells all your other loser iPhone friends where you are and what the hell are you doing?

It will be funny one day to see on the news or read in the paper that some dumbass killed somebody because his iPhone said that the other loser was doing his girl.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Review Of Friday The 13th The Movie

So, here we have a movie review of Friday the 13th and you were probably thinking that this was going to be some rant on the day, not the movie.

Let’s start with the cast of characters: Jared Padalecki, who plays a brother of a girl who goes missing earlier in the movie, this character seems to be the same one he plays on Supernatural, sort of. Juliann Guill; who looks a lot like Amanda Bynes, but Juliann has bodacious tits and dies. There are others in the movie, but I’m really not interested in putting of them in here. Just know this, they all die.

If I spoiled the movie for you, tough.

Do you really think anybody survives Jason?

Now the movie has about 15 minutes of set-up which you get to meet Mr. Voorhees in this new era of horror. Jason does what he does best, scares you and kills them; sometimes he does it quite outside the normal Jason ways. I’ve never known Jason to use a bear trap before; but then again, I haven’t seen all of the previous films. By the way, I like my Canadian hotties crispy on the outside, but still tender in the middle.

The rest of the movie is filled with your regular young people partying, smoking pot, fornicating and dying. Almost every girl is topless in the movie at some point, only the last two girls to make it to the end remain clothed fully through the entire thing, which kinda suck.

For what the movie is; a re-telling of a classic horror film, it’s decent. It makes Jason a smarter killer; he uses a trap and electricity, go figure. No longer is he a lumbering, stalking behemoth that kills everything in his path, but now he's a thinking, lumbering, stalking behemoth that kills everything in his path.

I give it a 5 out of 10, fucking 10!

Hell, it’s better than The Unborn, which had no nudity and a creepy little kid. This has a lot of nudity and a creepy grown little kid.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Survive Valentines Day Twist

Ok, it is me once again here to wreak havoc upon some sappy better your life crap that is out there for you to read. This is much easier than some crap that I was going to post about how much V-Day sucks anyways. This just kinda of fell into my lap like a stripper when you have a twenty in your hand at a strip club.

Anywhoo, same rules as before, my snide remarks in red italics, everything else is all original, enjoy.

Once upon a time, Valentine’s Day conjured up fear and dread in the hearts of singles. Yeah, who wants to get a still beating heart on St. Valentines Day? No more! With a fresh perspective, a healthy dose of hindsight, and your friends, I like this already, looking at my friend’s hineys. Valentine’s Day can be just as fun for the savvy single as it is for the happily hooked up. Strippers and meth? By putting into practice the following do’s and don’ts, you’ll rock your single and ready to mingle self on Valentine’s Day and beyond. Rock your single? Are you referring to self-love?

Do: Give Thanks For The Ones That Got Away

Remember all those “have to have him Him? Wait, I’m not into hims. or I’ll die” obsessive loves from your past? Wish them well and count your blessings. Better yet, blow a kiss to the cosmos for divine intervention! They were SO not the one for you! They weren’t? And luckily, you’re now free to find someone better suited for you. Love that! Sweet.

Don’t: Feel Sorry For Yourself

For Being Single Rather than sit around and mope about your single and ready to mingle status, refocus your efforts on Valentine’s Day by practicing random acts of kindness. I prefer random acts of violence, its more fun that way. Pay a visit to the elderly and bring them cupcakes and a smile. Be careful of those that have diabetes. Shower your fellow savvy single girlfriends with affection and fanfare. It puts the lotion on or it gets the hose again! Give your pampered pooches lots of Valentine’s Day smooches. Ewwww, doggy breathe. With a little perspective, you’ll have a whole lot more fun! I’m starting to have a good time right now…with your MOM!!!

Do: Spend The Day With Your Friends Most of my friends are in a relationship, don’t think they will like a third wheel, unless they need someone to hold the camera.

Instead of sitting on your couch crying into your Cosmo I read Playboy on Valentine’s Day, invite your gal pals over for a singles soiree of board games and cocktails, Co-ed naked twister with pineapple upside down cake shots, sounds like a plan a decadent dinner party, a movie marathon, scary movies always brings people together or a pampering evening of mani-pedis. Is this an ad for Mary Kay? Long live the single girl! I’ll be damned I think it is.

Don’t: Drunk Dial Your Ex(es)

It’s okay to get a little lonely on Valentine’s Day. But that’s no excuse to drink like a fashionable fish and drunk dial your ex(es). In fact, if you feel the urge to email, instant message, or text on the big day, stop, turn off the technology, and reboot your brain. No good can come from a weak moment down memory lane. Just say no to reconnecting with former flames! That means you. You know who you are. Instead of calling that SOB that hurt you, call me. I’ll be your teddy bear.

Ok, that was my sappy moment.

Do: Celebrate Your Single Status

Sometimes it’s hard to remember the many ways being single rocks, It does? but guess what? What. On Valentine’s Day, it’s essential to celebrate the fact that you can spend your hard-earned money with wild abandon, Hookers and coke? primp and preen like the glamour girl Girl? Wait just one minute. you are without having to share the mirror, and sleep as late as you want on weekends. I do that whenever I’m off on the weekends, which isn’t too many. Not to mention you enjoy the freedom to go anywhere, do anything, and flirt frivolously without having to answer to anyone. Except for their boyfriend or husband that you didn’t notice before.

Don’t: Be Ashamed Of Your Single Status

If and when you run across a frienemy Frienemy? You’re making words up, you can’t do that. or some other hazardous human Manson, clowns, someone with bird flu or gonasyphiherpeAIDS. who tries to make you feel inferior for being single on February 14th, Bastards. summon your inner strength The Incredible Hulk and remind them as well as yourself that you don’t need anyone on your arm to feel super sassy. I don’t want your sass-back woman, I got a pack of ham right here for you. Being single is a state of mind and yours is oh-so-fabulous! That is worth two snaps and an around the world!

Do: Splurge On Yourself Use a napkin.

Go ahead – on Valentines Day buy yourself something special. Like short bus special? Treat yourself to a girl-tastic gift Excuse me, I’m a guy. How many times do I have to tell you this? (a little bling, Oh my God, there is this pair of earrings at Tiffany’s that are to die for. a heavenly massage, With a happy ending? or those killer heels you’ve been coveting perhaps? Do they have a blade in the toe?). Splurge without guilt because you deserve a little extra TLC on the big day! The Learning Channel? What's so special about The Learning Channel?

Don’t: Even Think Of Going On A First Or Blind Date Why?

Even if you meet someone kind of cool Like Tom Cruise? right before Valentine’s Day, don’t set your first date for the big day. Talk about pressure and mismanaged expectations! It’s a date, not a freaking engagement party or wedding. Plus, being surrounded by couples kissing and cuddling is sure to make a first date awkward and uncomfortable. I’ll dry heave. Instead, schedule that first date for the following week. Sorry got a wedding to go to, that would be in poor taste. In doing so, you’re off to a much more fun and freeing start with someone new!
As a savvy single, Valentine’s Day is nothing to stress about. By following the do’s and don’ts above, you’re sure to celebrate your single and fabulous self on February 14th and every day that follows. Happy Valentine’s Day! Definitely promoting self-gratification.

Well that is the end. I hope you enjoyed our time together and I hoped you had a laugh or two with this lazy dribble that I post.

Any comments, bitches, raves or ideas for something in the future, leave me a message.

Saturday, January 31, 2009


I'm not a big fan of drama. I like movie/tv/book drama, but petty life drama, not a big fan of.

I don't care who slept with who, so-and-so should do that, or because you felt slighted because of some sort of 'argument'.

Get over it.

I'm tired of hearing it. If you have something to say to someone, say it to them. Don't go around armchair quarterbacking someone else's life. You don't know their situation in life, what kind of shit they may be going through or what they may have gone through in their past. Everyone has there own life to live, stop bitching about someone else's; focus on your own life that you need to live.

You are not perfect, I see this; trust me I do. I tire of hearing about some of the trivial bullshit in your life, I really don't give a fuck. Trust me, I will listen to what you have to say; I won't interrupt you or get angry, but I am really getting full of some of the bullshit that I am being fed lately.

Just know this, I care muchs for my friends, but snide remarks about mutuals are starting get on my nerves.

Once you become without sin, you may start casting those stones that you seem to chip of your shoulder.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wiki-How Crush Twist


I noticed this wiki-how, was curious as to what it was and thusly clicked on its link. Skimmed over the words that sat before me and had an immense urge to be a very sarcastic bastard by twisting the answers with my own sense of perverted humor that should be humorous, but that is probably an over statement.

Of course that being said, DO NOT take this seriously. It is meant as a joke, sort of.

My additions are in italics and in red, just in case someone may be confused about it.

Examine why the crush is a bad idea. Why should the crush be a bad idea? First, ask yourself why you would be so interested in this particular person over all others. Usually when I am interested in someone over someone else, it usual has to do with either looks or perhaps something greater like intelligence…yeah, like it is ever that. Obviously, there is the primal attraction factor - there are just certain people you will find attractive, whether it's appropriate or not. I just said that. But the key here is to voice your objections in a way that your sense of propriety hears you. Huh? If she's a lot younger than you are, why are you interested in a young woman whose interests and priorities will be very different from your own? For the sense of adventure and the much younger tail. If you are into a guy who works for you, are you more into the idea that you can call the shots than the actual person? Wouldn’t that be a bad idea? I mean sexual harassment and all? If you have a crush on your brother's girlfriend, is it more about getting one over on your brother than actual interest in the girl? Hells, yeah.

Project the potential fallout. If you were to get involved with this person, how would the fallout affect you? Probably like any other fallout, if it fails. Her/Him? Your friends, family, co-workers? Who cares what they think? If you live your life questioning every little thing that you do, or wish to do, you will be an indecisive shell of a person that always will second guess themselves. Think as if it were a chess game - visualize the next several moves: "If I do this, then s/he will do that; then my brother will hate me; then the first time we argue I will lose my job; then I will die homeless and penniless and nobody else but my parents will ever love me." Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine coming out of a care bears ass? Well, it might not really be that dire, but you get the idea. Is the potential relationship with this person worth all the trouble you will endure, and what are the chances the relationship would survive all of the chaos that will ensue? Have you ever taken a chance in your miserable life? Seriously, I may not be the most experienced in the world of love and my advice here may not be what I would personally take, but I would not be posting stuff on the internet that seems to want to make everyone that would read it a miserable cur such as ones apparent self.

Consider your reputation. What will other people think – will they think more, or less of you? What? Who cares what the hell other people think, it is not their fucking business what goes on in my or anybodies else’s private lives. It's not cool to try to steal your buddy's girl. No, but sure could be fun. You might end up with her, but you will lose your friend. Not if you’re my friend. Oh, wait; you’ve probably never had a girlfriend. If you're older, and the boy is a minor, you will be considered a cradle-robber - and on top of that, if you actually pursue that relationship into a sexual situation, you could be looking at jail. Unless you are Catholic and he is an altar boy, then it is perfectly fine. Sex with a minor is worse than inappropriate - it's a crime. You may be feeling warm fuzzies when you look at that middle schooler, Mr. High School Sophomore, but if you think you can take a 12-year-old to the prom, think about how your peers will look at you. What if they are good friends from church? Hmmm, What then? They'll think you couldn't get someone your own age - you had to go for someone a lot younger, not as savvy, not as sophisticated, and not as educated. Educated? I didn’t know that many high schoolers that were very sophisticated or for that matter more educated than some middle schoolers. That's not a good way to be looked at by your peers. And it's nothing compared to what the adults (especially her parents) will be thinking. Again, what if they are friends outside of school?

Think about your future. If you get involved with someone inappropriate, you will not just be dealing with problems now. You will be dealing with the fallout far - maybe years - into the future. Ok, I thought we were talking about a crush and maybe some light dating, not a full fledged life long relationship. Not to mention that as a general rule of thumb I don’t go letting any casual girlfriends have access to my credit cards, bank accounts or my money laundering businesses. Let's say the person you are crazy about is really kind of a ... well... not very nice person. The word you’re looking for is bitch. She's nice to you, but she isn't very nice to your friends or relatives. It is called a Rising Bitch Slap, puts them in their place. You start ditching your friends and family to spend time with her. We all fucking do that. She's super flaky, and you become flaky, too - going back on your word because she wasn't willing to do whatever it was you promised you'd do - and won't let you do it, either. If you do that, then you had no character to begin with. Even after you break up with her, everyone you know will still view you with distrust. They may question your earnestness when making plans, but in time they will come back around. Anyways, you were flaky; it wasn’t like you tortured an indigenous tribe in New Guinea for the thrill of it or like you stole their valuables from their home. They will question your judgment for ever getting involved with someone like that in the first place. Sorry, true friends will only be glad you are finally out of such a bad relationship.

Distract yourself. Now that you've analyzed, considered, and really meditated upon how terrible this idea is, you need to stop obsessing on this person. Sorry, can’t do that, I like the pain. No matter how tempting it is to think about him/her, fantasize, and get yourself all tingly doing it, stop it. Mmmmmm, tingly. Do something else. Your mom available? Oh, you said something, not someone. My bad, apologizes. In loose psychological terms, it's called redirecting behaviors and thought patterns. Train yourself to think about something else every time you start thinking about him/her - think of being at Disneyland. Are we trying to hold back an ejaculation or going to be fighting Rocky? Think of being on a train with your family. Yeah, think about being on something that can be a phallic symbol. Think of being a superhero. Like Batman? Whatever. What? It was a valid question. Just think about something else. Turn on the radio or TV, and get some other thoughts running through your head. Like them nekkid? If you still feel yourself reverting to thoughts of your forbidden crush, call a friend. According to you, I won’t have any friends after this dame is through with me. Go see that friend - get out of the house and out of your head. Out of my head? I never had an out of body experience before.

Avoid the person. If you can remove yourself from that person as much as possible, the crush will weaken. Damn, we can’t be friends anymore. In order to sustain our adoration for someone, we generally need to reinforce it by seeing the person. Personally I enjoy standing outside a window in the bushes naked. (Absence usually doesn't make the heart grow fonder, actually.) Says you. Of course, this isn't always practical, but do what you can to minimize contact with the other person. Place them in a box and ship them to Abhu Dhabi.

Focus on the negative. Almost by definition, a crush involves an idealized picture of someone else. This may work if the crush is fresh, but if it is entrenched, it won’t necessarily work. But everyone is human, and even your crush has characteristics that are probably not pleasant. Like poor hygiene and gas? Perhaps he says mean things to people, or maybe she listens to music that you think is dumb. Or perhaps he or she merely ignores you. If you haven’t done anything to make yourself known to them, they just may ignore you. Try to work up some negative energy about the person that you can focus on in order to weaken the crush. So if you are truly obsessed, you may end up lashing out towards them which could really endear yourself to them. That was sarcasm by the way.

Wait it out. All crushes fade with time. If you can avoid doing something regrettable and keep your feelings in check, eventually those powerful emotions will run their course. Ask them out, if they say no, move on. That is a sure fire way to cure a crush.

Ask someone else out. After you ask your ‘crush’ out first. It doesn't matter if that person does not measure up to your "wrong crush." What does matter is that you spend some time in the pleasant company of someone other than that person. Why do you keep thinking that the other person is unpleasant? You only have a crush on them, but for some reason you think that they are all wrong. Start dating others, and keep an open mind. That person is off limits to you, and you have to start re-wiring your brain to think about being with someone else. They are only off-limits if there is a restraining order involved and then it is only for so many feet.

Make it right. Let's face it: sometimes, you can't convince yourself that you don't feel the way you feel. If you've tried to fight it, all to no avail, and you still find yourself sighing over him/her, then make it right. There are ways to make an inappropriate crush totally appropriate - the most important thing to remember is to make it right FIRST - and then, and only then - get involved. And then, true love wins the day! What the FUCK!!! This entire time, you have been telling us that our crush is wrong and now you are telling us that it can be right?

I need to go smoke a cigarette. I’m fucking pissed right now. Take five, smoke one yourself, rub one out, drink a beer or whatever for five.

Ok, I’m back.

I can’t believe this crap, the entire time it is ‘inappropriate’ and you should do everything in your power to stop it or forget about it because somehow you will lose everything in your life; but now, since you can’t seem to stop this crush, just turn into it and ask them out. Seriously, if you wanted to have any cred to this, you would have just kept with the whole ‘your life will be fucking ruined’ bit and then did another Wiki-how that could be the entire opposite of this shit.

Of course, if you did another Wiki-how, I may find it as fucked up as this one and be spurred to fuck with it much the same.

Back to Wiki…

    • If she's your brother's girl, then you have to behave as a gallant gentleman, and never hit on her. If your brother breaks up with her, you can ask your brother if he'd mind you asking her out. Maybe he wouldn't mind, and there certainly is precedent for it. If he doesn't break up with her, or if he won't give you permission, you're out of luck unless you are prepared to accept the consequences - your brother may not speak to you. Fair enough, that is sound advice. Just remember though, they are blood and won’t be mad forever.
    • If you're interested in someone much younger, wait for him/her. Don't get involved with anyone. Wow, that is the life I want to lead. Bide your time, remain friendly, but don't get too close. Love him or her from afar until it is appropriate. Stalker much? For example, you are Mr. High School Sophomore and she is Miss 6th Grade Middle School. You will need to graduate from High School, go on to college, and maintain a friendly relationship with little Miss 6GMS until she is close to the end of high school herself. Once you are both finished with High School a 5-year age difference becomes unimportant - but while she is a minor, it could be deadly to your future. And then, what good would you be to her? Yeah, because no one stays together for love anymore, it just for the money.
    • If you are into a subordinate, let him know of your interest, but you must agree that one of you must transfer to another department, or one of you must resign (assuming that the feeling is mutual, of course) before you can act on your feelings and develop a personal relationship. Dipping your pen into the company ink well is not a very good idea, but resign? In this day and age, neither party will resign and put their career on hold just to date someone in their company.

Ok, that is the end for me. This is the most stupid thing I read to begin with and felt it was my patriotic duty to fuck with it. Some of it hopefully funny and the rest hopefully to enlighten others to the truth to go ask their crush out.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Pre-Testing Your Child For Drugs

Another day, another dollar; or so they say.

Once again I sit here at work with my distractions; a radio, a book, a pen and paper. Which means invariably so that there is a good chance that there will be something that will catch my attention that will spur me to write.

Today it is a radio commercial about drug testing your child before the school does. Find out before the school does or some crap like that it says.

Now I'm not totally against drug testing for high school athletes and only then for steroids, not for anything else. Now, if a student got tested and that test came back positive for something other than steroids, I feel that the student should be counseled by their coach and at the coach's discretion, perhaps then the parents should be notified. It would be the coach's discretion to kick the student off of the team, but that could send the student into more drug abuse, whereas keeping them on could be an outlet for their problems and curb the drug use.

Don't start thinking that I am some sort of anti-drug, I am against the hardcore stuff; coke, meth and the like, but believe that marijuana has been criminalized too much. Mostly I believe that what people do in their private lives is no concern of the rest of the world, as long as it doesn't place themselves or others in harm's way.

Back to the commercial.

It is basically a product/service that tells a parent that they cannot trust their children, that they should pre-test them before the school does.

I have two very fundamental reasons as to why this is wrong.

1. It is not the school's right.

It isn't. The only right the school should have is to test the students involved in athletics and only to test for steroids, as stated above. For testing the general population of students, it is an infringement of their rights. It is not the school's business to know what their students do in their free time away from school functions or the school itself. If a student is using or selling at school or school functions and gets caught, then that is on the student, but to be busted by an infringement of their rights, is not.

2. Parents trust.

If the parents have raised their child or children with an incorruptible teaching of right and wrong; and feel that they can trust their kids, pre-testing is a moot point. Granted, yes a child can fall into the 'wrong' crowd and indulge into drugs, but there will be signs and every parent should research these signs to be able to recognize them if they must. Even if a child falls into the 'wrong' crowd, a parent should not worry as long as they have instilled in the a strong sense of right and wrong.

To feel you must have your child tested for drugs, means that you as a parent have either no concern to learn the warning signs or you would rather have someone else tell you.

If you found out how would you react if it was positive? Over react? Call the police? Talk with them?

The first two are the wrong path to take and could only further distance your child from you and push them further into drugs. Talking to them is the best way and if necessary, family counseling to get to the root of the problem.

Just think about this, a pre-test could just show an experimentation that the child may not have liked and may never commit again.

Shouldn't you trust the way you brought them up?

By the way, I have never indulged in drugs. I have never felt the need to. I was educated by the usage of drugs by family members and being talked to by my mother about the dangers and repercussions of them. Also, the massive anti-drug campaign in the 80's and 90's didn't hurt either.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Unborn

This is my unbiased review of the movie The Unborn.

Ok, so it isn't going to be unbiased, so sue me and stop laughing.

The Unborn is not a scary movie. Though the previews would like you to think that it is, it is by far a truly scary movie. The premise of said movie, is some chic had a twin that died in utero and she is being stalked by a demon.

That is really all you need to know.

There is a weak ass plot that goes like this: demon starts stalking her; she starts seeing and hearing weird shit; she meets her grandmother, that she didn't know was alive; steals a book; has an exorcism; finds out she is pregnant; the end.

The entire movie relies on fast switching of the camera to a frame that is shocking, just to get the cheap 'aaaagggghhhh' out of you. Like early on you see a kid, shot of demon stalked girl, switch to shot of dog with a human mask on with electric blue eyes.

Someone screamed in the theater. No, really someone did a couple of times during this thing.

Anyways, electric blue eyes seem to be a something of a theme in the movie. Stalked girl starts getting them, demon has them, what the fuck is going on? I think they just hung out with Riddick to much and had their eyes glazed to be like all the cool kids.

There is no nudity, some covered up backside, but nothing is shown. There is a three second gratuitous camel toe shot early in the movie, but that is as close as you will get here.

The only saving grace of the movie is the actress; Odette Yustman, the one that is being stalked, is smoking hot. Smoking. If she was any hotter she would spontaneously combust.

If she did, would she rise from the ashes like a modern day Phoenix?

In fact, I have another more realistic reason for what happens in the movie, drugs.

Think about it. All of the girls friends, including herself, are in college. When is the best time to experiment with drugs and alcohol?

If you guess college, you get a shroom. Apparently that must have been what this chick was on, since she has more trips than Kenny Tarmac. She probably scored them from her pusher boyfriend, you know, to help her get in the mood or some shit.

Why not use a club over the head like the fucking cavemen did? Shit worked for them.

Her BFF, Romy, is into superstitions and shit, so you know she does weed or some shit like that. Fucking hippy.

Daddy is of course the supplier to to her precious beau. You only see him a couple of times in the movie and the rest of the time, he is out of town. Probably getting a load of X from the Scandinavians the entire time to give to beau upon his return.

Then of course there is the creepy kid that she baby sits for. If I happen to have a child like this, I'm going to throw him into a damn volcano as some sort of sacrifice. Not only is this kid creepy, but his head is ginormous and perfectly round to boot. He is like a real life Stewie, with the murderous impulses.

I rate this movie a -5 out of a 10, a fucking 10.

If you can tell me the movie that '10, a fucking 10' came from, you get a bonus point.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I hate these commercials.

Absolutely fucking hate them.

Maybe 'loathe' would be a more fitting word, but 'hate' has that blunt feel as it smacks you in the face attribute to it.

Now you are gonna ask, "Why?"

First off the singer. He's the guy in high school that thought he was cool, but everyone actually hated. He had that smarmy arrogance about him that made you think that he thought he was better than everyone else. The one guy that could bind the jocks, nerds, stoners, goths and geeks into a singular conversation about how much of a douche bag he was. He could make sweet, innocent, bible toting Mary Jane use the word 'fuckwad' when describing him. You know that his future held only two paths for him; absolute success that would further make him a douche or an absolute failure that even then, he would still be a complete douche with an arrogance about how it wasn't his fault he failed.

Second, the premise of every commercial. Some hacker stole his identity. The douche probably gave it to some 900 number he dialed and forgot about it. Most hackers probably aren't going to hack into you measly IBM to steal your fucking identity. They are most likely doing more mundane things; like hacking adult sites for free porn. Douche's identity probably got yanked from some bum rifling through his trash.

Thirdly, the little story each commercial tells. Bad credit = bad job; bad credit = shitty car; wife's bad credit = no house; bad credit = riding bicycle; bad credit = living at a Renaissance fair.

Ok, let's break it down.

BC=BJ, bullshit. Douche's shitty attitude and poor work habits leads to bad job. Douche probably thinks that he is entitled to a good job because he has some sort of degree or some shit and it is owed him.

BC=SC; no, if Douche would get a better job, save some money, Douche would be able to afford a better car.

WBC=NH; it's what a fucking Douche deserves when you marry for elevation in society, you get fucked by her shopping habits in college. By the way, the drummer and bassist run the train on her when Douche is working the fish house.

BC=RB; well that's bullshit. Douche is only doing this to pick some new cause that is out there; so Douche is going 'green'. Douche probably rode around with a white whale in his car to 'save the whales', or is a vegan to protect all the precious animals.

What the fuck ever.

BC=LRF; I'm so over Douche, I just hope he gets fucked by a goat.

Writing this has inspired me, I'm going to go to my next high school reunion and I'm going to commit animal sacrifice in hope that our Douche will be there. 'Cause if he is, I'm gonna kick him right square in the nuts.

Then I'm gonna run a train on his hot wife.

Friday, January 9, 2009


It seems that anytime I figure that good fortune has smiled upon me, the sick twist of fate takes it away, to only tease me with it from time to time.

The universe mocks me in some odd fanciful way, like a sadistic child that tortures a poor frog till it is no more. It refuse to let me find love, to taste the sweet nectar of it. To feel the warmth of anothers love; their tender embraces; the sweet smell of their sweat.

It laughs at my attempts. My misreadings of all of my love interests, the numerous dating sites that I join; just to be ignored by all those I attempt to connect with. The only attention that I receiver is from spammers and would be scammers that would love nothing more than to seperate me from the little money that I have.

The only consolidation that I have is the fact that I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is someone out there for me. Perhaps I haven't met them yet. Perhaps the fates haven't placed us into a course to be able to meet. Perhaps we are already on that course on opposite ends of a swirling whirlpool being drawn inexplicably together without knowing that the other exists until that fateful day that we meet and fall instantly head over heels in love with each other.

I eagerly await that day.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009



A beautiful little word, isn't it? We Americans know this word very well, we practice it's belief and nuances on a daily basis. From speaking out about our heads of state, to being able to not have to worry about the police knocking on our doors, coming in and taking us away without any sort of due process or probable cause.

This isn't about any of that, this is about a yearning that has recently manifested itself and has grown to such a tremendous roar that I have to, I must, speak out about it.

I wish to be free.

You see I live in America, so I am free to an extent. I by no means am locked away as some sort of criminal, nor am I recently nor have I ever been on parole or probation of any sort. Yet, I still have this deep down desire to be more free than what I am now.

This yearning gnaws at my heart and pulls hard at me to step away from this existence of monetary hell. To be free from financial burdens, to not have any care in the world of expenses, to not have any monthly bills of any sort, to not ever have to work again but for only the simply pleasure of wanting to do it.

This is what I yearn.

Not ever having to wake up in the morning to have to trudge to work for a couple of hours for the stipend received. Not ever having to worry about whether or not to pay a bill or have food. Not ever having to worry about if I'll have enough hours at work to be able to continue on.

This is all to be blamed on a show on National Geographic or Discover Channel a few months ago. It was about these man made stone towers in Tibet that have been standing for hundreds to thousands of years. The thing is, it wasn't the towers that intrigued me, it was the absolute beauty of the place that caught my attention.

A place that I may never be able to visit for I am shackled to this current existence. For you see, I wish to travel, to see the world, to meet peoples that I may never be able to meet currently, to eat foods that my palate has never tasted.

Is this such a bad thing, to yearn these things? To see the beauty that the world has to offer?

How can I, this persona non grata, find the weighs and means to do this? I wish not to have money to have a big fancy house, nor to drive some fancy expensive automobile, but to see the beauty of the world with someone that wants the same.

Perhaps this is the source of all of this, is absolute loneliness. I have no one to share this with. Someone that is willing to, on a near whim, go forth to experience new things and sensations that neither of us have been privy to before.

A someone special as it were.

Perhaps someday....