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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Road Trip

"What the hell are we listening to?" bemoaned the ever cultured Jennifer.

"Cruise Missile by the Dixie Dregs."

"When are they gonna start singing?  All I hear is screeching guitar."

"There is no singing in this song, it is all instrumental.  Just shut up and listen to it, it's not a bad song." 

"Can we put in my CD after? I really don't want to hear anymore of this crap."  She asked in a rather pissed off and annoyed voice.

"And what CD would that happen to be?"

"Jagged Little Pill."

"Huh?  You wanna put in a screeching, un-clean, hipster, indie-chic after this?  Are you kidding me or did I die and go to hell?"

"What's wrong with Alanis?"

"Nothing.  She is a great song writer, singer but that one song, You Oughta Know is a screech-fest that makes male cats horny and looking for some.  I for one do not want a herd of Toms chasing after the car trying to make with the loving whilst we drive down the highway."

"We won't play that song. OK?"

"How about we don't play the CD, period.  After all, the agreement was I got to choose the music for this ride, to and from, and you had to sit there, like a good little girl and take it.  Remember that?  Because I certainly do.  It was one of the reasons I agreed to come, if not the main reason I chose to come."

"I'm changing the rules."  She tried to assert some sort of control into the situation.

"HA! If you remember, I am the one behind the wheel.  I'll careen us off the side of the road into the ditch before I let you choose the music.  I remember last time we went anywhere and it was a marathon of the Dixie Chics the entire time.  I small part of me died that day, so thanks for that."  

"How can I change your mind?"

Desperation has now entered the bargaining table. This will be fun.

"Road head."  I state matter-of-factly.

"What's that?"

"That is where a girl; that would be you, gives a guy; that would be me, a blowjob, in a car, while it travels down the road."

"Not in your life."  

She sounded disgusted.  Either way it's a win-win for me, I either get a BJ or I continue to listen to the music I want to hear for the next several hours.

I wonder how she likes the musical stylings of Black Label Society, hopefully not long, as I could use a BJ.