"I have six months to live."
Not much time to live a life that is less than exciting.
The news to my lover was quite shocking when I told her. The conversation was surreal in its frankness but was entirely not out of character for myself, even considering the news that was being delivered was out of the blue.
"Wh-what do you mean? I mean...how...how come? Why?" was her shocked reply.
"Not sure the why but I have six months. Some rare genetic disorder that the Doc found when I went for a checkup last week."
"Is it curable or treatable?"
"If is was curable I don't think that a six month shelf life would be placed on this packaging and to answer the other half of your question; no, is is not treatable."
"Well what are you going to do?"
"Die." I rather frank answer to a question that I knew was not asking for.
"This is no time for your jokes. I mean, in the meantime, what are you going to do?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? Why nothing? I'm sure there is a lot that you haven't experienced in life yet that you would like to, so why not create a bucket list and check things off?"
"There is but why go through the last half year of my life rushing to do crazy life experiences just because I have a 'use by date' stamped on my forehead? You see it all the time when people only have 'x' amount of time left and now they are determined to live it to the fullest despite the fact that the entire time leading to this point they would rather sit on the couch watching TV letting life pass on by. Well you know what? I'm going to keep the course that I've been leading up to this point; going to work, hanging out with you, friends, family and living my life they I have been. No sense in trying to live some adventure of a lifetime or adventures just because I had no interest too when I was 'well'."
"Have you told your family...your mom?"
"No."
"Why not? Aren't you going to? You should at least tell your mom."
"No. I am not going to. I should tell her but she doesn't need that stress on her knowing that everyday is one day closer to the day I go to that great worm bed. As for the rest of my family, definitely not. Before you ask, I will not be telling friends, co-workers, the clergy, small children or goats of my impending passing. I do not want or need that sort of attention focused on me nor do I wish to have their sympathies as well, least of all while I am still alive."
"Why tell me? Why put me through that hell that you are not wanting to put before everyone else?"
"Because I love you."
"Funny way of showing it. 'Hey honey, I love you so much that in six months I will be dead.' You are an ass."
"Hon-"
"Don't honey me. You think this is fair to me? The man I love dearly; that I would hope to marry someday, to have kids with, tells me he is going to be dead in six months. Not to mention that on top of that, I get to be the only one to share in that joy as you are so much a little boy that you are too afraid to face the fact that you are dying and that you don't want the 'attention' and 'pity' from your family and friends that love you so dearly. But no, I get to keep this perfect little secret, keeping a straight face to your mom, to our friends, till that one day you just drop dead."
"I understand."
"No you fucking don't. You don't understand. If you did, you would tell...let everyone know...you would celebrate the rest of your life, but you would rather shoulder this burden on just our shoulders--"
"Your not shouldering anything."
"I'M NOT BURDENING ANYTHING? HOW...FUCKING...DARE YOU!! I have to face your mother tomorrow for lunch and not breakdown. When I see my parents, I cannot tell them, I cannot confide in anyone in case they happen to tell someone else. AND THAT IS NOT A BURDEN TO ME? You ASS, thinking that this is only a burden on yourself."
"I'm sorry."
"You're right, you are."
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Counting Down
Time erodes slowly by when you are waiting for something fun to come along to steal you away.
Tick
Tock
Not much time left till June 3-5.
Not much time at all.
Only 17 days are left.
I got a camping spot, a tent, a couple of friends and now just waiting.
BTW, waiting SUCKS.
It really does. I just wish time would fly by so it would be here already and I can go enjoy myself, let loose for a little bit without having to worry about having to get home or having to make sure everyone else gets home fine.
Not too mention this year should be better than last year in the sense of not having to drive back and forth all three days. Now we didn't drive from BamaJam to home every day, just to my buddy's girlfriends dads place around Poplar Springs, but that was still a 45 minute drive. Each. Way.
Unfortunately they are unable to go this year. Even with tempting them with super cheap tickets and paying for a camper spot out of my own pocket; it was no dice. They had some excuse about having to save for a wedding, a honeymoon and they just bought a house so they couldn't afford it.
Whateves.
Just kidding. I do understand their dilemma. There will be next year.
I think Murphy may even make an appearance...
Tick
Tock
Not much time left till June 3-5.
Not much time at all.
Only 17 days are left.
I got a camping spot, a tent, a couple of friends and now just waiting.
BTW, waiting SUCKS.
It really does. I just wish time would fly by so it would be here already and I can go enjoy myself, let loose for a little bit without having to worry about having to get home or having to make sure everyone else gets home fine.
Not too mention this year should be better than last year in the sense of not having to drive back and forth all three days. Now we didn't drive from BamaJam to home every day, just to my buddy's girlfriends dads place around Poplar Springs, but that was still a 45 minute drive. Each. Way.
Unfortunately they are unable to go this year. Even with tempting them with super cheap tickets and paying for a camper spot out of my own pocket; it was no dice. They had some excuse about having to save for a wedding, a honeymoon and they just bought a house so they couldn't afford it.
Whateves.
Just kidding. I do understand their dilemma. There will be next year.
I think Murphy may even make an appearance...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Celebrity
I want to be a celebrity.
Not a super-famous, ultra-rich Mel Gibson or Nicholas Cage but a quasi-famous with a loyal following of mindies (pronounced mind-ee-s, sort of like my name, mind-es; NOT mind-ez or meend-ees) to be there to support all of my horrible endeavors into entertainment as well as the massive popular successes.
Of course that means I either need to move to Hollywood to get a chance at stardom to be able to realize this dream; form a band and become wildly popular with crazed half-naked wimmenz throwing themselves at me; become a comedian to have the world laugh at my awesome sense of humor; or be the next Stephen King and write a plethora of books that make me famous.
Really I am hoping this little blog will take off and lead me to the greatness that I am destined for but so far I am still waiting for that ship to pull into the station.
Now what to do with my new found celebrity status, money, power and influence?
Oh, I know, I'll start some fucking feel good non-profit organization to have my fans shell out their hard earned cash to support just because my name and ugly mug happens to be poster boarding.
That seems to be the way that celebrities do things. Become famous through their trade, make lots of money, spend money on ridiculous amounts of stupid shit and just when their famous-ness starts to fade, start up some organization to help overweight kittens escape possible devouring by malnourished children in Thailand.
Like today I saw an ad for some foundation by Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore with their doe-ful eyed faces asking for us to support their cause.
I barely have enough to support my cause of buying beer to get drunk while watching porn on my computer.
Ok. I just looked up Demi and Ashton's cause...it's to end child sex slavery. I feel like an ass now.
Just a little.
Not gonna stop me though.
Good luck with that little endeavor of stopping child sex slavery. I'm sure if you ask real nice like, the richer than you dirty bastards that buy children for sex slavery will just go, "Damn, you are SSSOOOO right. My bad."
Me personally, when I get rich and popular, I am going to try to keep those sex abused kiddos from eating the overweight kittens with your money.
My money will be used for an on site brewery so I will never have to go to the store ever again to buy beer.
Ever.
Again.
Not a super-famous, ultra-rich Mel Gibson or Nicholas Cage but a quasi-famous with a loyal following of mindies (pronounced mind-ee-s, sort of like my name, mind-es; NOT mind-ez or meend-ees) to be there to support all of my horrible endeavors into entertainment as well as the massive popular successes.
Of course that means I either need to move to Hollywood to get a chance at stardom to be able to realize this dream; form a band and become wildly popular with crazed half-naked wimmenz throwing themselves at me; become a comedian to have the world laugh at my awesome sense of humor; or be the next Stephen King and write a plethora of books that make me famous.
Really I am hoping this little blog will take off and lead me to the greatness that I am destined for but so far I am still waiting for that ship to pull into the station.
Now what to do with my new found celebrity status, money, power and influence?
Oh, I know, I'll start some fucking feel good non-profit organization to have my fans shell out their hard earned cash to support just because my name and ugly mug happens to be poster boarding.
That seems to be the way that celebrities do things. Become famous through their trade, make lots of money, spend money on ridiculous amounts of stupid shit and just when their famous-ness starts to fade, start up some organization to help overweight kittens escape possible devouring by malnourished children in Thailand.
Like today I saw an ad for some foundation by Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore with their doe-ful eyed faces asking for us to support their cause.
I barely have enough to support my cause of buying beer to get drunk while watching porn on my computer.
Ok. I just looked up Demi and Ashton's cause...it's to end child sex slavery. I feel like an ass now.
Just a little.
Not gonna stop me though.
Good luck with that little endeavor of stopping child sex slavery. I'm sure if you ask real nice like, the richer than you dirty bastards that buy children for sex slavery will just go, "Damn, you are SSSOOOO right. My bad."
Me personally, when I get rich and popular, I am going to try to keep those sex abused kiddos from eating the overweight kittens with your money.
My money will be used for an on site brewery so I will never have to go to the store ever again to buy beer.
Ever.
Again.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Gyms
About a year ago I joined a local gym to get into shape or at least try to bring sexy back. Though I never knew sexy, so I guess it would be more to find sexy than to be bringing it back.
Now the club I joined was a national franchise of new gyms called Anytime Fitness. The premise of these gyms was to allow the individual to be able to workout anytime they so desired, hence the anytime in Anytime Fitness.
Kinda obvious huh?
So I have recently been going on a somewhat regular basis, kinda been watching what I eat (well, I always watch what I eat but more importantly I started to watch how much I eat.) and trying not to eat so much junk food at work.
Now all of this really hasn't accumulated into too much in the way of weight loss by way of scale, but I was asked the other day if I had lost any weight to which I said no, but I was then told that it looks like I had. That does make me feel much better and I could tell that there was some weight loss since some clothing has been fitting a little looser.
Unfortunately for me, this has come to an abrupt stop just recently since finding out that the gym I was going to, has closed. The sign on the door said that it was not for a lack of members, but for a lack of those members paying. Which I can understand, but I believe that the management should have done a better job in stopping those non-paying members from utilizing the facilities as well as recruiting new members and doing more advertising.
There is another Anytime Fitness that I can go to but I am not too keen on driving 15+ miles one way to go workout, then drive back; I'd rather find someplace closer to go to, but I did enjoy the 24 hour aspect of Anytime.
Sigh.
Now the club I joined was a national franchise of new gyms called Anytime Fitness. The premise of these gyms was to allow the individual to be able to workout anytime they so desired, hence the anytime in Anytime Fitness.
Kinda obvious huh?
So I have recently been going on a somewhat regular basis, kinda been watching what I eat (well, I always watch what I eat but more importantly I started to watch how much I eat.) and trying not to eat so much junk food at work.
Now all of this really hasn't accumulated into too much in the way of weight loss by way of scale, but I was asked the other day if I had lost any weight to which I said no, but I was then told that it looks like I had. That does make me feel much better and I could tell that there was some weight loss since some clothing has been fitting a little looser.
Unfortunately for me, this has come to an abrupt stop just recently since finding out that the gym I was going to, has closed. The sign on the door said that it was not for a lack of members, but for a lack of those members paying. Which I can understand, but I believe that the management should have done a better job in stopping those non-paying members from utilizing the facilities as well as recruiting new members and doing more advertising.
There is another Anytime Fitness that I can go to but I am not too keen on driving 15+ miles one way to go workout, then drive back; I'd rather find someplace closer to go to, but I did enjoy the 24 hour aspect of Anytime.
Sigh.
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