I have become a sadist.
Not the ball gag, leather wearing, being whipped while wearing nipple clamps, safe word using type of sadist. But a sadist nonetheless.
Originally this was going to be a commentary about those that go to gyms and use the device that is called an elliptical machine; I prefer to call it a medieval torture device, but that has changed. It seems that I have become indoctrinated unto their ways of pain, for I have now begun to use the infernal contraption on a regular basis.
When I first started using the damn thing, I could only do five minutes but it seemed that on the third or fourth day I managed to do twenty minutes. I don't know what happened or what the hell got into me, but there it was, me doing more than five minutes.
I fear I may be slipping into a dangerous bit of exercising with this new found bit of sadism.
When I was first starting, I would make fun of those that would get on the torturous devices for being able to do more than myself. How could someone manage to maintain such a level of commitment to staying on it?
There is a girl that is sometimes there when I arrive that is on a device when I get there, on it the entire time that I am and still on it after I leave. This is usually about an hours worth of time, I can't comprehend how she can continue to do such an amount of time.
I have labeled her the Queen of the Sadists and I bow at her feet in worship of her torture device prowess.
Amber, I have done 25 minutes and could easily do 30, if I wanted to. Time to step up.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
iPhone Rant
I'm tired of hearing about or seeing anything about the stupid iPhone. If you believe the hype, it is the greatest bit of technology since the personal computer, the sybian or a regular cell phone. Yes, it has a half billion apps that you can buy and place on your computer...err...iPhone, but do you really need them?
Have we become so dependent on technology that we are so lazy that we can't figure out the split between a party of five in a restaurant or have forgotten how to look in a phone book to look up a number or; here's a good one, need an app to level out a book shelf? Come on, an app that is a level! Seriously? You must be fucking kidding me, but I wish it was not the truth, they have an app for that.
Why don't they come up some really useful apps that would be cool to have, like how to haggle with a stripper for half off a lap dance? How to tell if the hooker you're talking to is a cop or not. How to pick a set of handcuffs. How to hotwire a car. How to mug a mugger.
Where are those apps?
I would maybe buy an iPhone to have something cool on it like that.
Too bad you can only get the iPhone with the crappiest service provider in the known universe, if they had the network it wouldn't be so bad, but you are stuck with AT&T. AT&T and T-mobile do not even work at my job, but Nextel, Verizon and Alltel work like champs.
Go figure.
I guess the iPhone is just proof that we are nothing more than consumers that have to have the newest, brightest, most commercialized thing out there just because the tv told us so. All the apps that you can get is just more proof of this.
Who wants an app that tells all your other loser iPhone friends where you are and what the hell are you doing?
It will be funny one day to see on the news or read in the paper that some dumbass killed somebody because his iPhone said that the other loser was doing his girl.
Have we become so dependent on technology that we are so lazy that we can't figure out the split between a party of five in a restaurant or have forgotten how to look in a phone book to look up a number or; here's a good one, need an app to level out a book shelf? Come on, an app that is a level! Seriously? You must be fucking kidding me, but I wish it was not the truth, they have an app for that.
Why don't they come up some really useful apps that would be cool to have, like how to haggle with a stripper for half off a lap dance? How to tell if the hooker you're talking to is a cop or not. How to pick a set of handcuffs. How to hotwire a car. How to mug a mugger.
Where are those apps?
I would maybe buy an iPhone to have something cool on it like that.
Too bad you can only get the iPhone with the crappiest service provider in the known universe, if they had the network it wouldn't be so bad, but you are stuck with AT&T. AT&T and T-mobile do not even work at my job, but Nextel, Verizon and Alltel work like champs.
Go figure.
I guess the iPhone is just proof that we are nothing more than consumers that have to have the newest, brightest, most commercialized thing out there just because the tv told us so. All the apps that you can get is just more proof of this.
Who wants an app that tells all your other loser iPhone friends where you are and what the hell are you doing?
It will be funny one day to see on the news or read in the paper that some dumbass killed somebody because his iPhone said that the other loser was doing his girl.
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