Welcome to my little corner of the world, this is where I rant, rave, kvetch or wax on nostalgic about anything and anyone that crosses my path at that moment in time.
Sit down for a bit and read some. If you enjoy what you read, please pass the love on to others so that they may partake in the yummy goodness that lies here.

Saturday, January 30, 2010


For Christmas last year I bought my mom one of those electronic cigarettes, not to get her to quit, but as a less dangerous way for her to get her nicotine without all of the carcinogens that seems to be in regular cigarettes. Now it did work for awhile till she claims that it stopped working, either not getting enough vapor or that one of the batteries was not holding a charge. I tell her to take it back since a friend of mine had a problem, she took it back and the faulty component was replaced for free, so my mom does. Everything has worked fine up till recently when the same problems were addressed, I told her the same thing, but she didn't have time.

Then she bought another e-cig to replace the one I got her.

I was not happy.

So I decided to take back the one I bought her; not back as in to the place of purchase, but back as in my possession.

And I became curious.

Now aside from a handful of times of partaking on a cigarette or a cigar here or there; mostly while under the extreme affects of alcohol and being told it would make me feel better, I have not smoked nor have had the inclination to smoke.

Cancer kinda scares me.

So I decide to try this thing out. Let me tell you this, as a non-smoker, the intensity of the vapor for me was a lung hacking up moment. Like lungs being expelled in a turn-them-inside-out and then-hanging-out-from-ones-mouth type of cough. But I didn't feel any different. No loopy happiness, no craving for more, nothing at all. I was disappointed to say the least.

So I hit it again. Still nothing that would tell me to want more or need more like the anti-smoking ads tell you on tv.

Then I do some research which leads me to reading that nicotine is very dangerous, it can be absorbed through the skin, is water soluble and can kill you if you overdose on it. The effects are appetite suppression, alertness and sharper vision. Which two of the three I did feel, appetite suppression was not one of them.

Now the thing has quite on me and I want a puff.

Now, if you do not know about e-cigs, they are a safer alternative to tobacco smoking. You don't get all the carcinogens like from cigarettes, snuf, dip or cigars, just nicotine.

The device that I have is made by NJoy and is the NCig. It consists of three parts, the battery, the atomizer and the cartridge. The battery has an LED light on the end that lights up when you draw on the tip. It also has inside besides the battery, a chip or circuitry that prevents you from drawing in too much in a short period of time. The atomizer is what heats up and causes the liquid to vaporize which is what you inhale. The tip is what contains the fibers that hold the liquid and is what you suck on to draw in the vapor.

The tips come in different flavors and strengths ranging from no flavor, no nicotine; to apple, strawberry, vanilla, menthol or tobacco flavors and strength from ultra light to full strength.

All fine and great for those that want variety; it is the spice of life after all, but does you no good when the fucking device DOES NOT work.

So I take it back today. Seems the vaporizer was no good and I get a new one. So now it works, sort of. Not no where near the amount of vapor that there was initially, but it is ok I guess.

I need a more professional opinion on this thing.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Jan. 13 2010 a magnitude 7.0 earthquake struck Haiti causing millions of dollars of damages and possibly the deaths of thousands of people.

The devastation of Haiti from the earthquake is from the lack of earthquake resilient buildings having been built and the existing structures being unable to withstand the severity of the earthquake. This destruction cannot be blamed on the people or government of Haiti for not having implemented the construction of earthquake proof buildings in an area that is more likely to experience a category 5 hurricane rather than a 7.0 earthquake. Areas that do not normally experience normal acts of nature except for the odd storm will not build or have in place the necessary needs to weather the odd bit of nature that may occur. So why would Haiti build for something that might occur but every few hundred years or so?

Now many people are arguing that we, as Americans should not help the Haitians since we have our own problems to deal with here in the states.

This is true, but neither the Haitians nor their government were the cause of this earthquake; they were only the victims of it. It is a tragedy that this occurred but since it is not a man-made tragedy, we should help out whole heartedly and without prejudice. Many countries came to our aid after Katrina had hit New Orleans, so why should we not turn around and help them? Helping others in need when tragedy happens to them is the source of our humanity and gives us good points toward karma or whatever greater belief structure you may have.

There is a fault line between St. Louis, Missouri and Memphis, Tennessee that is called the New Madrid fault line an that the last time it gave way was in the early 1800s which caused church bells to ring in Charleston and New York with 8.0+ magnitude earthquakes. There was minimal damage, as the area was not well populated with many buildings. Now the area is home to over 3.5 million people that a large magnitude earthquake would severely affect individuals, buildings and infrastructure among many other things.

So if an 8.0+ magnitude earthquake would strike the area of St. Louis and Memphis to cause millions; if not billions of dollars in damages, wouldn’t we expect other countries to offer support to our natural disaster?

Think about that the next time you decide to talk against helping out our fellow man during a natural disaster that they had no knowledge was coming and could not prepare for.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


What is for rent? This space.

I am struggling a little this week on coming up with something entertaining for your enjoyment this week. I have a bit done up about a dream I had last week, but I'm not quite prepared to post that just yet; that is if I even do.

Getting a nice sum back from everyone's favorite Uncle this year and have prepared to sink all of it into getting this 4,000 lb lawn ornament moving under its own power THIS year. Shouldn't take too much, just ALOT of stinking work and hunting down the last few parts that I am going to be needing. Not to mention the single fact that I am missing some very critical pieces of equipment that I will be needing to use to fulfill this endeavor.

Hopefully I can convince some people here locally that are into fabricating to be able to help me in this little venture with reimbursements of parts, money and/or beer. All the while doing the work at their place since the dry land that was known as my yard, has now come to be a swamp once more with all the rain that was received last night and this morning.

I really miss that girl. Want to be back in her once more. This time with a 3.9L Cummins diesel clacking under the hood.


Hopefully I will have something strike me better next week or in the next few days to write about on here as opposed to reading about what I would like to do to my junk.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I Need You Now

Awoke this morning with a lovely song stuck in my noggin this morning; which would normally not bother me at all, but I really do not like this song, I find it to be a depressing bit of music.

Normally to rid myself of some annoying bit of lyrical intrusion, I try to remember all the lyrics and sing it out or find something equally catchy but more enjoyable and get that stuck in my head. Since neither of those tickle my fancy on this particularly wet day; it is raining in sunny Florida on this fine Saturday, I will add my take on the lyrics of this song that intrudes my current memory.

Trust me, it is an intrusion. I only have so much space for trivial things and this is taking up valuable space that could be used on body disposal, torture techniques or SRV lyrics.

Just so you know, the song in question is I Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. It is a country song so if by chance you haven’t had the displeasure of hearing it, google it and have a listen before reading my commentary on the lyrics so you will have an understanding of how the song goes and won’t be too lost when reading on.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.


Anywhoo, let the mockery begin…

Picture perfect memories, Oddly, most of our memories are picture perfect since we create them; whereas what someone else may have been witness to or experienced may have in fact been less than perfect, perhaps even a little tarnished.
Scattered all around the floor. So, you scatter them about to be able to look at everything at once, instead of focusing on one singular event. Of course if you did focus on one event you might remember that fight about how he chews his food or his constant mentioning of your weight from before or after that memory was captured.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more. He must be smuggling a python in his trousers.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Who are you again?
For me it happens all the time. Ah, yes, python smuggler he is or he is a cunning linguist.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Someone is a little horny.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. No, you want that trouser snake.
And I don’t know how I can do without, Easy, find someone that can lick their eyebrows or has a baby elephant in their pants.
I just need you now. I wonder if he feels the same way.

Another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door. That is usually what happens to me when I drink whiskey; I look longingly at doors.
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before. Ooo, will she be wearing that French maid outfit like before?
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Anaconda. Pants. Need I say more?
For me it happens all the time. You need to get out more and find someone new, she wasn’t all that.

It’s a quarter after one; I’m a little drunk and I need you now. You’ve been drinking whiskey all night; I couldn’t imagine why you would be a little drunk. As far as the needing, she must be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I get it now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. Porn is cheaper and you can turn it off when finished without the pre-requisite snuggling.
And I don’t know how I can do without, 20 dollars and I know this girl that can love you long time.
I just need you now. Dude, you are going to lose your man license if you keep on like this.
I guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I have duct tape and battery cables, we can work on the hurting bit or I can call up my dominatrix friend to come over with some pain aids.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Fuck. Now you both are singing together about how much you need each other. Shit.
And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now. Whiskey for him and I’m going to guess wine for the lady.
And I don’t know how I can do without, Counseling may do wonders since you both are so hung up on each other or just pay someone to have sex with you.
I just need you now. Shoot them. Shoot them now.

Oh baby I need you now. Say it like the filthy whore that you are.

Not sure what happened to these to wild and crazy kids as to the why that they are no longer together but they need to get over it.

She needs to realize that he didn’t really love her; only liked that fact that she acted like a whore in bed and since his mother was one, it is what he is used to.

He needs to realize that she was only after his money and now that he is gone, longs for the niceys that he would buy her.

Though I have no idea why anyone would buy a gold plated, ruby encrusted trailer hitch.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Once again I am back to express my views on social things like some talking head on an all news channel.

I knew you wouldn't mind.

It is a slow day and I am on Facebook perusing my friends pages; (ok, stalking is more like it) and notice a group that is 'keep sex offenders off of Facebook' and think to myself, why? Is it to protect the kiddies? If so, kids should not be on any social site to begin with. That includes FB, MySpace and any other similar sites that may be out there. I know it would be hard to keep kids off of these sites, since if a kid really wants to be on there, they will find the ways and means to do it; no matter how much mommy and daddy say no. Even though all kids' internet should be closely monitored these days with all the scams and weirdos out there.

How would you do it?

Compare names to a list of sex offenders based on location?

Never mind the obvious fact that one could be a victim of mistaken identity or that one could lie to be able to access the sites to begin with since these sites have such a strenuous background checking system. Of course the sites could implement a strict background criminal check to really be thorough in keeping those individuals off of the sites, but who would allow them to have that kind of access or give them permission to check to see if that individual would be allowed?

Did you know that in most states that if caught urinating in public, you can be arrested, convicted and then be labeled as a sex offender?

All for taking a piss.

We all have done it; public urination that is, so we are all sex offenders to some degree. At least in the eyes of the law that is.

You may be a member and wish to remain as such, but I will no longer join them or be a part of them since there is no clear indication of the severity of offender that should be removed.

What do these groups accomplish but by spreading fear amongst members of the social sites they are apart of?

Perhaps we as a public should educate ourselves before reacting in a knee-jerk way. We should find out why someone is an offender first rather then forcing them away when their biggest crime was having a full bladder.

Till that fateful day I have something more to say, I bid you adieu.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Ups and downs like a meth-head tweeker, this is another installment of the non-critically acclaimed ramblings of me.

Hope Doug isn't shit out of luck.

Not a lot going on this week; especially with me, since I am on vacation. Yeah, it does suck to be you, trapped behind that desk, looking longingly at the outside, wishing you could be the one frolicking in the sun, but it's not you, it's me.

Be jealous.

Not only am I on vacation, I have a little headache, listening to last.fm on the xbox, looking forward to a date with your girlfriend; so when she doesn't answer later tonight, she be with me and just wasting time at this point whilst trying to come up with something worthwhile to place in this spot.

Well, let's get this dog and pony show on the road.

Went camping on the 2nd of this illustrious new year in 28 degree weather.

Crazy? Yes, but no crazies were in attendance; 'cept for crazy ole me.

It was a great time, food, drink, hoochies, fire, memories, a full moon, the Honky Tonk and the bestest people that one could ever hope to be around.

What more could one wish for?

Oh yeah, more warmth. Did I mention it was 28 degrees that night? Well it was and fire and alcohol only goes so far as to keep you warm. Next time, warmer clothes; at least more layers, more wood to have for the wee morning hours that a few of us continued to stay up till.

Of course, I wouldn't trade that evening for anything in the world.

Except more hoochies.

Till sometime in the near or distant future.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years

The last doo wah diddy that I posted seemed incomplete and lacking in the juicy (Jesus? I’m not Jesus, I’m Juicy) freshness that I commit to you my two fans on a weekly (or should that be weakly?) basis.

Let’s dive into this pie like a nympho on their last meal.

So it is a new year. 2010 has finally burst its way unto the scene like the awesomeness that it should and promising so many good things for the next 365 ¼ days, so let’s recap my night.

Trust me, it will be lacking many details to protect the innocent and to keep me in good graces with them.

Hung out with the greatest people that I know last night. There was drunken debauchery, coming out of the closets and things that were said in, let’s say in a rather frank and open manner that quite surprised me. Oh, there was also me being fondled by women, but I liked that very much so.

Now during the night, I was texting people; now before you go off thinking that they were drunk texts, I will assure you, they were not. Two of three people that I was texting did not have the best of nights, either being stuck home or at some uber lame party half way across the known universe to which to both of them I wish I had known earlier of these events for they could have had the absolute time of their lives.

Well, the most absolute time that is permissible by most laws of the land anyways.

All that brought me to a revelation about myself, that I enjoy the company of people, especially fun people. When I am out and about, I like to have as many other people with me or in the group that I am with so that everyone can share in the frivolity. Not saying that I am some sort of awesome time or anything, but I really don’t like to hear about friends that would have liked to have gone but were otherwise unable to go or didn’t know about it and ended up missing out.

Next time people, let me know ahead of time. Don't worry about having to invite yourself; sometimes I am as dense as a brick and about as thick as one as well, if you are not welcome you would know long before then or if I don't like you and that is very few people that are on that list. Trust me.

I think that is all I have for now so I will leave you with a couple of thoughts for now.

When things are said in a very inebriated state, do they apply or hold weight in the next day sober world?

I can still smell your girlfriend on me, I don’t think I will shower today because I like it so much.