Adoption

Read this first before settling in for this new adventure.

Adopted Child Terrorizes Family

Ready? Good.

A 33-year-old woman decides she wants to start a family so she finds a child to adopt in Russia and hilarity ensues. Well not so much on the hilarity part, but it seems that from the article the woman had a case of Angelina Jolie Syndrome. This is caused by normal individuals thinking they can make a difference in the lives of some poor down trodden child in some poor backwater dirt country but are unprepared to handle the possibility or responsibility of having to put forth the actual human effort to make this child a self-sufficient productive member of society.

Now I’m not going to get into adopting outside of the USA at this point; that would be too easy.

They see the pictures on the TV, in the magazines and in the paper showing these children with Angelina being happy; they then think that they can do that as well. Which is all fine and great but a realization must be made; that is, that most celebrities such as Ms. Jolie can afford the cost of supporting, adopting and caring for a child from another country. Whereas, most of the regular people in the States cannot, we do not have those resources to be able to put forth towards such a noble cause such as this. Either it is money, time, strength or knowledge of how to raise a child; it just isn’t feasible for many of us to commit to such an endeavor.

The problem with this particular story is that there is no mention of another person in the adopters life, either it be a husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, just her mother and aunt. Since the living situation was not mentioned in the article; I can only speculate on this portion, I imagine that Torry Hansen lived by herself and wanted a family. Just seems that she had Angelina Jolie Syndrome and was going to save some poor child from another land as a single mother; with only the support of her mother and aunt to help her along.

Now, I was raised by a single mother, it was not all peaches and cream either. There were difficulties along the way, we were poor, but we also lived with my grandparents up to when I started high school. Living with the grandparents plus an aunt; not to mention any other aunt or uncle that may have been there throughout that time frame, didn’t mean there was money to be had or a lot of extras. We were all poor and my mother had help with discipline, teaching along with my rearing from those individuals throughout that time. Torry Hansen had help by way of her mother and aunt, but that doesn’t mean they were pro-active disciplinarians; especially since the article mentioned that they ‘thought that with their love, they could help him.’ Which sounds to me that they tried more hippy means of child rearing; such as timeouts, talking to and groundings or restrictions, instead of time honored whipping some ass that has been used for centuries all over the world with astounding positive results.

Now I am not sure why a Russian child was chosen; as there are many children in the USA that are in need of loving homes. The choice of a Russian child would have been a major hurdle as well toward helping him during this time. At the age of 7, he would already be talking in his native tongue of Russian, be aware of his own customs that would all been turned upside down after being brought to America. Unless Torry Hansen spoke Russian natively or well enough to be able to communicate, it would be a major blockage to helping the child to become accustomed to his new home. I hope she took all of this into consideration before going through with the adoption; though it seems it was not.

Why wasn’t an American child chosen? Would it have been issues or protocol with the adoption process in America that would have made things more difficult that going through a foreign agency? Adopting an American child that is aware of the language, culture and customs of America would have made things much easier as well. That barrier would not have been nearly as present with an American child as it would be with some other child from any other country on this planet, Russia or otherwise, especially a non-English speaking country.

One of the many mistakes that seemed to have been made was only consulting with psychologists and not actually taking the child to one for help. This is not a guarantee that it would have been the solution, but it was an avenue that was not taken and therefore cannot be speculated upon if it would have worked out for the best. Since it was not tried, there is no way of telling what may or may not have happened.

If you cannot put forth the time, money, energy and resources to adopt a child from another country…don’t do it. If you absolutely must fill that empty space in your life with something, get a pet; if you must fill it with a child, adopt one that needs your help in your native country or the country you currently live in. Live in America, adopt an American child; Canadian, adopt a Canadian child; live in Japan, adopt a Japanese child; etc., etc., and etc.