I Need You Now

Awoke this morning with a lovely song stuck in my noggin this morning; which would normally not bother me at all, but I really do not like this song, I find it to be a depressing bit of music.

Normally to rid myself of some annoying bit of lyrical intrusion, I try to remember all the lyrics and sing it out or find something equally catchy but more enjoyable and get that stuck in my head. Since neither of those tickle my fancy on this particularly wet day; it is raining in sunny Florida on this fine Saturday, I will add my take on the lyrics of this song that intrudes my current memory.

Trust me, it is an intrusion. I only have so much space for trivial things and this is taking up valuable space that could be used on body disposal, torture techniques or SRV lyrics.

Just so you know, the song in question is I Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. It is a country song so if by chance you haven’t had the displeasure of hearing it, google it and have a listen before reading my commentary on the lyrics so you will have an understanding of how the song goes and won’t be too lost when reading on.

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Ready?

Anywhoo, let the mockery begin…

Picture perfect memories, Oddly, most of our memories are picture perfect since we create them; whereas what someone else may have been witness to or experienced may have in fact been less than perfect, perhaps even a little tarnished.
Scattered all around the floor. So, you scatter them about to be able to look at everything at once, instead of focusing on one singular event. Of course if you did focus on one event you might remember that fight about how he chews his food or his constant mentioning of your weight from before or after that memory was captured.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more. He must be smuggling a python in his trousers.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Who are you again?
For me it happens all the time. Ah, yes, python smuggler he is or he is a cunning linguist.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Someone is a little horny.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. No, you want that trouser snake.
And I don’t know how I can do without, Easy, find someone that can lick their eyebrows or has a baby elephant in their pants.
I just need you now. I wonder if he feels the same way.

Another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door. That is usually what happens to me when I drink whiskey; I look longingly at doors.
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before. Ooo, will she be wearing that French maid outfit like before?
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Anaconda. Pants. Need I say more?
For me it happens all the time. You need to get out more and find someone new, she wasn’t all that.

It’s a quarter after one; I’m a little drunk and I need you now. You’ve been drinking whiskey all night; I couldn’t imagine why you would be a little drunk. As far as the needing, she must be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I get it now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. Porn is cheaper and you can turn it off when finished without the pre-requisite snuggling.
And I don’t know how I can do without, 20 dollars and I know this girl that can love you long time.
I just need you now. Dude, you are going to lose your man license if you keep on like this.
I guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I have duct tape and battery cables, we can work on the hurting bit or I can call up my dominatrix friend to come over with some pain aids.

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Fuck. Now you both are singing together about how much you need each other. Shit.
And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now. Whiskey for him and I’m going to guess wine for the lady.
And I don’t know how I can do without, Counseling may do wonders since you both are so hung up on each other or just pay someone to have sex with you.
I just need you now. Shoot them. Shoot them now.

Oh baby I need you now. Say it like the filthy whore that you are.

Not sure what happened to these to wild and crazy kids as to the why that they are no longer together but they need to get over it.

She needs to realize that he didn’t really love her; only liked that fact that she acted like a whore in bed and since his mother was one, it is what he is used to.

He needs to realize that she was only after his money and now that he is gone, longs for the niceys that he would buy her.

Though I have no idea why anyone would buy a gold plated, ruby encrusted trailer hitch.